Our Savior

Our Savior
The beauty of nature is medicine to the soul

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Life behind the bars of "Perfectionism"

I am sure you are asking why I would say this.  Well, here goes.  The meaning of "perfectionism" is judging yourself by your achievements.  Even though it sounds good and all, when we measure our worth in terms of productivity and our accomplishments and always strive for impossible goals, and they are never fulfilled, well we will constantly be disappointed.  This is because we are driven and not lead.  We will constantly be in a prison of perfectionism.

This is life behind the bars of "perfectionism":

  • You are never satisfied
  • It's a thief - promising rewards but steals your joy and satisfaction
  • You set impossible goals which sets you up for frustration
In the material world people who are perfectionists earn on average about $15K less than other individuals.  Reason is they waste time, trying to always be perfect at every task given to do.  Productivity not perfection.  Also they tend to be more critical of others.  Intolerable of all people.  I pity the woman who is married to a perfectionist or children whose parents are perfectionists.  A wife and mother rarely had fun time with her children because she wanted to have an immaculate house, believe me I know I have been there and done that.

People who are perfectionists may be judgemental and hard to live with at times.  They set impossible goals and are idealist - not realists.  Perfectionist in a dreamworld that never comes to pass.  They also tend to always want to be #1, the BEST, they get upset when others do better than they do.  They cannot accept the Best, they have to be the Best.

Another feeling perfectionists will have to deal with is never being able to relax, because if they try to they will always feel guilty.  Going on a trip with a perfectionist is not very much fun. There will be fewer potty stops, since the goal of course is the destination not the adventure along the way.  The other thing perfectionists tend to do which is very dangerous, is punish themselves when they did not live up to their expectations.  They failed and they won't forgive themselves for it.

So after learning about what a perfectionist may go through - let's look at ways to get out of this prison of perfectionism shall we.

The first and most important thing to do is to learn to accept our imperfections.  Remember God accepts us not on the basis of performance and achievements.  If we feel he only accepts us based on performance and or achievements, then how would we ever know when we've done enough.  You need to see God as a good God not one who is demanding and you are always trying to earn his acceptance.  God has accepted you by Grace as so stated in Ephesians 1-6.  He isn't up in heaven keeping track of what we are doing, or as to how many times we read the Bible, or how many hours or minutes we spend in prayer.

Accept yourself, reprogram your mind to listen to what God says about you not the enemy.  Women, don't listen to those ads on television about having a perfect body or you can't just be a housewife in life, but you have to have a career in order to be accepted or successful.  Young men, it's not about sexual conquest or being a tough football player, or even a businessman.  Having a bigger house and nicer car etc.  You are all special in God's eyes. Learn to accept those around you who make mistakes and are not perfect and stop being so demanding.  Do us a favor and please resign as the CEO of the Universe.

As soon as you accept yourself and others as imperfect people, and that you are are loved by a perfect Father in Heaven, you will be set free to live the life that God has for you.  I did this many years ago and by God's grace I am happier now, I am not as disappointed in myself when I do something wrong and I don't punish myself or others either.  I know I still mess up at times, but I have a Father in Heaven who still loves me and forgives me when I do.  I hope this helps you if you are a perfectionist.  I believe God wants us to do our best at all times, but well "perfect" that's his title.  Blessings to you all. 


  1. Mary, this was well written and well done in content. I too have in the past struggled with perfectionism and still at times I have to remind myself that I do not need to be perfect. I also was able to share this message with someone I love very much who is still struggling with trying to be perfect. Thank you for sharing this with me and the people who may or may not even realize that this is a problem for them until they read your article. I was blessed.

    1. Hi Lynn, so good to hear from you. Are you all settled in, I sure hope so. Thank you so much for your comment and I am so very glad you shared my post. This is a problem for so many people and I am hoping that this info will be received well and may help others too. Take care and the best of luck in your new place. Blessings to you!!!


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